Pictured above: Rebecca Minkoff Affair bag - purchased after the
rare and wonderful convergence of the following principles.
1. For those most coveted and rare items, be the first to arrive on the first day. Wait on line. Bring a sleeping bag. Whatever it takes. Recommended for: Hermès sale.
2. For well-stocked sales, on the other hand, prepare your strategy in advance (i.e. glean the layout of the room, merchandise available, and pricing from recaps online). Recommended for: Hanky Panky sale.
3. Wear comfortable shoes – you never know whether you will have to climb three flights of stairs in a shady Lower East Side building (true story), dash across the room in a mad race to the last pair of Louboutins, or weather the elements in an unexpectedly long line. Recommended for: everywhere except the David Yurman sale.
4. Prepare to strip without shame in order to try on clothes…in the aisles, along the walls, anywhere you can precariously balance your wares. Alternatively, wear leggings and a camisole over which you can pull on items. Recommended for: Foley & Corinna sale (should, if the heavens so ordain, they have another).
5. If you like it…correction: if you think you might possibly ever maybe kind of like it –grab it. You can always discard something, but you can’t always find it. Recommended for: everywhere.
6. Stalk others in order to snatch up their cast-offs if you must. Be persistently shadow-like while maintaining a semblance of dignity. Recommended for: Dolce Vita sale.
7. Always ask about the man behind the curtain. No, the unlabeled box you spy is not simply the droopy makings of a future cardboard fort, but instead usually contains a treasure trove of extra merchandise. Recommended for: Andrew Marc sale.
8. Know your brands. As with Fashion Week, the original and best concept of the sample sale is to sell one season ahead – beware and shun those crafty brands disposing of sometimes seasons-old material. Recommend for: well, you know who you are.
9. Try to refrain from physical violence. Recommended for: Barney’s Warehouse Sale.
10. Bring a friend...but make it a good friend who, like a spouse, swears to stand by you for better or worse, for we all know the emotional rollercoaster involved. Recommended for: everywhere.
Post-sale protocol: When gifting items purchased at sample sales to others, do not…DO NOT…announce its origin. Rather, bask in the ever-so-chic glow behind your Tom Fords.
Follow these rules and you will achieve our gift to you – it is that zen-like quality, that Nirvana, that sudden clarity, that secretly gloating grin – it is…the Shopper’s High.
